Things I NEVER Thought I'd Say
on the World Race

Praise God, we don't need a poop-stick for this outhouse.

No thanks. I'd rather take a bucket shower.

Let's hope for the 24-hour bus ride, instead of the 30. 

Aaaaaand if I don't want to take malaria meds...?

Me: Dude, I've had ZERO TIME to shower. I'm going on three days now.

Abbey: Tomorrow's day six for me.

Me: We only have time for one thing today...what do you think? Shower or internet?

Abbey and me, together: INTERNET!

Me, trying to ask an elderly woman: "Will you be baptized again as an adult?"

"Baptiste tambien por tu mujera?"

Which actually translates to:

"Baptist again per your woman-a?"

#SpanishFAIL

While praying over our teammate Kayla during Team Time: "Okay, guys. Holy Spirit is telling me we should start massaging her back."

I don't know, but Deuteronomy's getting really good.

In Puerto Rico/the Caribbean:

Me: It's been a lot easier to stay warm in the hammock at night now that I figured out to use my sleeping bag.

Karen: What were you using before?

Me: I was bundling up in my thermal stuff.

Karen (confused): Kay. It's 70-degrees at night.

Me: I know! I've been wearing all my Norway gear!

:)

In the Dominican Republic: Is anyone showering in the waterfall tonight?

Um, I only know like three songs...but sure. I'll lead worship.

I was kinda worried because I didn't know how to make the crema, but then Jesus showed me.

Kate (as she looks at all my fries that fell on the sidewalk): Are you going to eat those?

Me (as I pick them all up and blow the dirt off them): YEP!

#BillSwanAPPROVED

Dude! We're two-and-a-half miles closer to the sun!

Me (to Jenny, thru the window at church): She peed on me. She did it on purpose, too!

Me (aloud, to Jesus): I know this sounds bad, but...I reeeeeally don't want to get lice, Father.

Jesus: (laughing)

Me (with chagrin): It's not funny.

Me: I have a Valentine's Day gift for God, and I want it to be a surprise. You think if I ask Him not to search my heart for a few hours I'll be able to keep it a secret till I can give it to Him?

Alyssha: I think it's cute that you think God doesn't know about the "surprise" Valentine's gift you're going to give Him.

Coming to you LIVE from Bolivia, peeps. :)